A Day of Death

Today was a day of loss for many. The world lost the music legend, Michael Jackson to cardiac arrest, and the famed actress, Farrah Fawcett to cancer. But neither of these deaths will affect me as much as losing my stepfather, Nino, who succumbed to cancer today at the age of 70. While Nino was not my real dad he was the only father I knew. My mother was married to him for over 30 years. I'm still in a little bit of a state of shock. It's been many years since someone close to me passed away. I feel sad and numb at the same time.

Nino had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, stage 3. They tried chemo and radiation but because he was a dialysis patient, it made him very ill. He was hospitalized for quite a while and whenever I visited him my heart broke for him. It's difficult to see someone you care about in agony. He couldn't move his body without crying out in pain.

Before he started to get really sick, he shared with me that he had been thinking about death. He also admitted that he was afraid of dying. I didn't know what to say to that but I held his hand and tried to ease his fear, "Don't be afraid. It's going to okay. "But it wasn't okay for him. His health quickly detioriated and he was in constant pain. He lost 40 pounds in a matter of weeks. The only consolation I feel is that Nino is no longer in pain...

A few days before Nino passed, he would try to talk but not make much sense. But he did say to me that he was hearing the voice of his mother calling him. She had been dead for many years. It makes you wonder about the afterlife...

I also feel for my beautiful mom who has been married to him for all those years. We are there for her and always will be.

RIP Nino. You will be missed...